Friday, 30 November 2012

Woe is Me.

I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself recently, so this will be a pretty word heavy, essay style post!

As a bigger girl, there has always been a lot of emotion surrounding me day to day.  Unfortunately I find it difficult to accept, which makes me so very envious of others who are able to do so.  Since I started up my blog, I have found that there is a lot of positivity & support for the curvier chicks out there, however, when you open a magazine/newspaper, you tend to find the complete opposite.  For me, that really does not help!  
I refer to myself as BFG, which makes me laugh to be honest. I'm rather tall for a girl and being larger than the average, doesn't make the best combination.  

I keep fit, and I eat well but I never seem to get where I want.  I can't work out if that's because I have completely unrealistic expectations, I'm doing something wrong or just can't see what everyone else see's?! A few years ago I went through a strange patch in my life, where everything went a bit wrong.  I ended up losing quite a lot of weight very quickly using the wrong methods of weight loss. But it was the only thing that worked, I would never go back to that place because I wasn't very happy, but it does make me think!

I think it's common knowledge that the tabloids create a huge amount of pressure for women and young girls to look good.  The thing that saddens me, is that children are now starting the feel that pressure too.  What saddens me even more, is remembering that I felt like that when I was still in primary school. Always feeling inferior to the pretty & skinnier girls around you.  Urgh...and then you get the boys.  I mean I knew girls were bitchy, but holy hell.  Some of the nasty comments I used to get when I was going through secondary school were humiliating & completely degrading! I can never understand how people can be so cruel.

My appearance is the only place that really I lack any confidence and my god it bugs me.  I actually get annoyed with my self for constantly having negative thoughts about the way I look.  It gets incredibly tiring. The thing is, I know that there are probably so many people out there that feel exactly the way I do, but always feel as though it's only me.  I mean I'm not like it all the time, but it always seems as though when I start to forget about things or start to feel a bit happier, the horrible little devil version of myself gets back on my shoulder and manages to convince me that the way I look is not good enough!

I am assuming that everyone has heard of Gabi Gregg, a plus size blogger from the US!
Although my size isn't actually considered plus size, reading her blog and seeing how far she has come has been an inspiration. She looks sha-mazing in pretty much everything that she wears, and learns you that curvy can look good.  I am the first to jump to anyone's defence when it comes to weight, firstly because I have a massive problem with bullying & secondly because it's just plain horrible and completely unnecessary!  

My argument is practically the same everytime...everyone is beautiful in there own way.

Yeah....practice what you preach Emily!! 

Apologies for the rant...

Until Next time..

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree with what you say about the tabloids, I am 5ft 9.5" and have always hated my height, I'm glad there's someone who feels the same!